EsotericFrench (esotericfrench) wrote in okcupidlolz,

Random, dead-end overtures from guys

In the past few weeks I've been going out a lot, including one first-ever attempt at speed dating (!) - actually, speed dating was pretty fun and not even, at least at the one I went to, remotely sketchy and while I don't think anything will come of this round I would consider going again. Actually two things did come of it - I networked with one of the staffers, who has a day job as an aging services provider and I'm an elder law attorney, and I had a really interesting conversation with someone about actuarial assumptions re: the gender gap in life expectancy and he sent me a useful Economist article. Huzzah.

But I bring this up because in the past 2 weeks I have given my phone number to like 5 different guys. One of them I made out with at a bar (I'm classy like that).

Then on Saturday I got a message from a dude with whom I had "mutually liked" (nobody actually sends messages anymore, have you noticed?) saying, "If you aren't busy today, you should come get a drink with me later." Well, I had already decided he was cute, and I like drinks, and I appreciate the proactive overture, so I wrote back something along the lines of, "I'm on my way out the door to run errands but we could grab drinks later, so text me here's my number. Or if you want to keep it super casual we can grab coffee in this neighborhood I'm going to run errands in."

I never heard from him, whether by okcmail or by text or otherwise.

WTF? It's possible he sent that message to 100 women and had already set up a date with someone else. But still. He essentially blew me off, and if that date didn't work out he has now spoiled his chances with me. Alternatively, he's a giant flake and/or pussy whose bark is 100% larger than his non-existant dick...I mean bite.

Meanwhile, I have heard from none but one of the 5 men to whom I have given my number in person. And the one? He texted me at 1:15 this morning from a number I did not recognize, completely failed to say who he was, and said, "Well it was nice meeting you the other night!"


That's so helpful. So I texted back, "Hi, who is this?" and it is now almost 3 PM and I have no response. There was one guy I was really hoping to hear from, and maybe it's him, but honestly if you can't master basic communication skills - like SAYING WHO THE HELL YOU ARE WHEN YOU HAVE NEVER GIVEN ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER - then that does not bode well for the rest of the relationship.

And what is with the other guys never calling me? Make-out guy was 2 weeks ago. He was clearly into me, thus the making out bit. He asked for my number without prompting. He clearly knows I'm interested, seeing as how we MADE OUT for like half an hour and I gave him my freakin number.

What the hell? Seriously, it's an ego and power thing, and I really don't like being some object they're exploiting to feel good about themselves. I'm interested in going on an honest-to-goodness, well-intended, maybe-something-will-come-of-this date. When I give someone my number or say we should go out, I actually mean it. Am I an alien or something? No, I think, just a better breed of human.
Tags: texting, unhelpful
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