EsotericFrench (esotericfrench) wrote in okcupidlolz,

How to Respond Like a 30-Year-Old

Since turning 30 I've noticed that I am always busy, always tired, and always grouchy. I'm also self-confident and no longer willing to suffer other people's bullshit. This has clearly reflected itself in my reactions to messages on OKC. Here are two correspondences from today:

Correspondence 1:

Dude: Are you as negative in person as you come across in your profile?

I thought for a minute about what he could be referring to. The first several sections of my profile are about what I'm doing with my life and all my hobbies, and I'd argue they read as positive and enthusiastic. Later in my profile in the "most private thing" section I talk about my issues with white social justice activists and how most of them are in this for their ego, not because they actually care about issues. I also make some truth-points in my "message me if" about what I won't respond to, like form messages and one-line shit, and the fact that I don't want to spend weeks texting without ever going on a date, and my requirements, like the fact that I'll only date people who support LGBT rights and who believe in climate change. I guess that having opinions and critical thoughts about the world must make me "negative."

So I responded.

Me: I dunno, are you as whiny, insecure and judgmental as you come across in your message?

Dude: I guess that answers my question

What a little fucksauce.

Me: Right. Because if I call you out on your self-righteous, hypocritical bullshit then I guess the problem must be with m e. God forbid women should ahve opinions, standards or enough self-confidence to not take crap from rando asshats on the Internet who think they have the right to critique us like we're objects for their approval.

Dude: How did this become a sex issue? I don't like negative people, the world is shitty enough as it is. My opinion doesn't change whether you have a pee-pee or a hoo-ha.

I was just asking if you were actually a negative person or if it just seemed that way. Sometimes it's hard to get an accurate impression of someone based on their profile. Maybe you just had some shitty experiences with dating and that's why you came across as bitter.

But based on your responses, I'm guessing you are just a negative person.

Me: It's a sex issue because you are responding to the fact that -shock oh no!- I dared to express an honest, forthright critical opinion in my profile. We live in a society that teaches us that women aren't allowed to have critical opinions, let alone to express them strongly. I have no doubt that my being a woman colors your view of whether my strong opinions make me too "negative." Particularly given that my profile is actually quite *positive* - look at all the interests and music I clearly love and am super enthusiastic about.

But I dare to speak some truth about being over it with the hypocritical social activists who are dominating social media these days and to express real standards for the men I'm willing to date, and having a handful of strong opinions on those things somehow makes my profile overwhelmingly negative and reflects that I'm a negative person?

And then you have the audacity to send me a cryptic, one-line okcmail essentially insulting me and my profile and you expect me to respond how exactly? As though I owe you, some random dude on the Internet, an explanation? Do you not realize that, being a woman, I get 20 of these a day? And taht I might be inclined to respond much more positively to people who actually have nice things to say to me? And did it occur to you that several guys have e-mailed me applauding me for being real and forthright in my profile rather than just trying to project some fake image of what I think men want me to be like? And that several among those have commended my critique of social justice activists as being dead-on and articulating exactly how they feel, too?

In conclusion, bitch please. If anyone here needs an attitude adjustment it's you.

Correspondence 2:

Dude: Would you prefer an inappropriate or super cheesy pickup line?

Me: Neither.

Dude: I mean that's no fun

Me: No. What's fun is having someone get in touch with me about a common interest that I listed on my profile and having an interesting conversation about it. Not some lazy rando from the Internet doing the absolute bare minimumum.

Dude: Wow. Ok. That's fair

So kudos to him for responding that my point was valid. But, uh, if you think it's fair...then where's your response citing a common interest in my profile, bro? I guess he recognized he was only interested in doing the bare minimum, then.
Tags: form letter, insults
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